Stronger Together: How to Encourage Your Partner to Prioritize Their Health

I recently read a book called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, and it got me thinking about how often I hear frustrations from my patients about their partners not wanting to make health changes. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat across from a patient who is fully committed to improving their health—whether it is through better nutrition, exercise, or hormone optimization—only to hear them say, "But my spouse just doesn’t get it."

They are excited to take control of their health, but their partner is not on board, which leads to frustration, resentment, and even discouragement. This is so common. But here’s the hard truth: you cannot force someone to change. They have to want it for themselves.

This is where The Let Them Theory comes in. The idea is simple: instead of trying to control or convince people to do what we think is best for them, we let them be who they are—and focus on our own growth and choices.

This approach applies so well to health and wellness, especially in relationships. The key to encouraging your partner to prioritize their health is balancing leading by example, offering support, and giving them the space to make their own decisions. Let’s explore how you can do that—so you can thrive together.

Why Partner Support Matters in Health and Longevity

Studies show that couples who prioritize their health together experience greater success in making lasting lifestyle changes. Whether it is weight loss, stress reduction, or improving hormone balance, having accountability and support can lead to better results.

But forcing, nagging, or pushing your partner to change rarely works. Instead, they may resist, feel judged, or shut down.

So, how do you encourage them without creating resistance?

Lead by Example and Let Them Decide

One of the core principles of The Let Them Theory is allowing people to make their own choices while you focus on yours.

Instead of pushing your partner to change, focus on modeling the behaviors you want to see:

·       Show them how better nutrition gives you more energy

·       Let them see how exercise improves your mood and stress levels

·       Demonstrate how balancing your hormones impacts your overall well-being

Rather than telling your partner what they should do, let them see the benefits firsthand. When people witness positive changes in others, they are more likely to become curious and make shifts on their own terms.

Make It a Team Effort, But Let Them Set the Pace

Instead of framing health changes as something they "should" do, invite them to join you in something fun and achievable—but respect their pace.

·       Suggest a walk after dinner, a weekend hike, or a fun activity like dancing or biking, but if they decline, let them.

·       Find new recipes and make meal prep a shared experience, but if they want something different, let them.

·       Try meditation, deep breathing, or unplugging together at night, but if they prefer another method, let them.

By offering opportunities without forcing participation, you allow them to choose when and how they engage.

Frame It as an Investment in Your Future Together

If your partner is not motivated by immediate benefits, talk about the long-term impact in a way that aligns with their values:

·       "I want us to have the energy to travel and do things we love together as we get older."

·       "I want to be around for our kids and future grandkids for as long as possible."

·       "I love spending time with you, and I want us both to feel our best for years to come."

This shifts the focus from "you need to change" to "I want to build a future with you."

And if they still do not make a shift, let them.

Help Them Find Their Why, But Let Them Own It

Everyone is motivated by different things. Instead of assuming what they need, ask open-ended questions that allow them to reflect:

·       "What is one thing about your health you wish felt better?"

·       "What would make daily life easier or more enjoyable for you?"

·       "What is something you used to love doing that you do not feel up for anymore?"

If they express interest in improving their health, support them. If not, let them.

Change happens when people are ready, not when we force it upon them.

Encourage Preventative Care and Hormone Optimization Without Pressure

Many partners hesitate to seek medical advice, even when they do not feel their best. Instead of pushing them, offer information and let them decide.

Some signs they may benefit from hormone optimization include:

·       Fatigue or low energy

·       Unexplained weight gain

·       Mood swings or irritability

·       Low libido or intimacy concerns

·       Trouble sleeping or recovering from exercise

If they are hesitant, you can invite them to explore options with you—but if they decline, let them.

Make Health a Rewarding Experience, Not a Burden

A healthy lifestyle should not feel like punishment. Finding enjoyable activities together keeps things sustainable.

·       Plan healthy date nights, like cooking classes or outdoor adventures

·       Set shared health goals and celebrate milestones together

·       Try new activities together, like yoga, pickleball, or hiking

If they join in, great. If they do not, let them.

Release the Need to Control Their Journey

This may be the hardest part, but it is also the most freeing.

If you have tried to educate, support, and model healthy habits and your partner still is not interested, let them be where they are.

You cannot control another person’s choices, but you can choose how you respond.

What You Can Control:

·       Your own health and wellness choices

·       The energy you bring into your relationship

·       How you lead by example and set boundaries

What You Cannot Control:

·       Your partner’s decisions

·       Their willingness to change

·       Their personal timeline for transformation

The more you focus on your own journey, the more space you give them to embrace change on their own terms.

Stronger Together: Support Without Pressure

Encouraging your partner to prioritize their health is not about convincing them—it is about creating a supportive, motivating environment where you both thrive.

At Midlifesy, I work with both women and men who want to improve their energy, metabolism, and overall health in midlife. Whether it is hormone optimization, weight loss, or metabolic support, I am here to help.

If you and your partner are ready to explore how optimizing your health can strengthen your energy, longevity, and connection, let’s start that conversation.

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